The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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