erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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