Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
