she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Let the clothes fall where they may.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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