That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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