My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have fence marks all over my body
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
