We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
