After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
