it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
