I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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