He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
