I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
