So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
