reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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