they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
