it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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