You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
