all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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