Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
