If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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