Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
