Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
