So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize