beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
