So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
