btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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