Got a toothbrush?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
