"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize