Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Success! We fucked roommates!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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