went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
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