Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
