Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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