Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
