trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
