I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
