i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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