Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
