at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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