Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
