I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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