there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize