Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
