I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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