Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
