He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
