I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
