First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
