We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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