I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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