you guys were way drunker than both of me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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