is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
