I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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