I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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