bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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