these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
