i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
