He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm passing your future prison.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
