nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
