We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
