dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
