Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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