I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
