no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
