The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
