this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
